An Email convo

I was talking to one of my readers and we had an interesting conversation. I wanted to post it for you guys because I feel like some of the points I present to him are really relevant to those of you who are looking to come out but are afraid of the consequences.

Him:

We haven't emailed in a while :(. Oh well, late is better than never, eh? Two things. First, I watched Get Real. It was a good movie. Not my favorite coming-of-age movie, but it was good. They were both hot. I liked the whole drama with the fat girl, but didn't like (it was good just was kind of unpleasent) how they did not really get back together in the end (I think). I understand it, but the main character was being a bit of a bitch towards his boyfriend, has to be more understanding. The thing with the closet guy and his wife, sad but true. Also, it sucks that you can relate. If he wil not talk to you, you should persue him and ask if he is gay. He may just be nervous, try to help him through. Second, I am glad you are feeling better. Everybody has ups and downs. I just came out of mine where I was afraid I am capable of feeling love towards nature but not towards people. I am better now though. I wrote in my diary about this, but have yet to
transfer it to text. Anyway, until next time.

My reply:

Hi XXXXXXXX! Nice to hear from you again.

I agree about the ending of "Get Real", it was a weird way to end that sort of movie. Steven isn't really my type, but I think that's because him and I are kind of similar. Yeah Steven could have been more understanding, but John swept him off his feet and wanted to be his Romeo when it was convenient for him. You can't turn Juliet-like emotions on and off. Trust me. lol. My "guy" talks to me, I just sort of miss the intimacy we had. I know he's gay, he won't admit it to me even though I think he knows that he is deep in his heart. That's okay, he shouldn't come out until he is good and ready. I would hate for something bad to come of him coming out at my urging and then have him resent me for the rest of his life. There are a lot of factors preventing him from being his true self. He says his Mom and Dad would be devastated if he was gay, but I know his parents and I know that wouldn't be the case. He is clearly the favorite though, and he knows this. I think he would be afraid that would change. He has an older brother and 2 younger brothers. I think he wants to set an example for his younger brothers and his older brother is really cool to me but he wouldn't be cool with a gay brother. His older brother isn't as popular as he is but still, you want to be cool with everyone in your family for obvious reasons. And the guys he hangs out with are cordial to me but in private they bash me and gay people. Which is fine, they are entitled to their opinions, but I think that knowing what he does know about his friends dissuades him from coming out. Even though, I think, that if your friends can't accept you however you are [as long as you aren't hurting yourself or others] then they aren't your real friends. I know that sound cliche but I really think it's true.

But thank you for being happy for me, it means a lot. For the first time in a while I am content. When you figure out how to elaborate on your nature vs. people love issue let me know. I'm intrigued to learn what you mean. I am glad you are feeling better. As pathetic as it is, your social status [not popularity, but just status with the people you call your friends] as a teenager can really determine how happy you are on the outside. Things on the inside can always eat at you when you're happy or sad but when you're happy you can usually overcome those negative feelings.

So far you are my most loyal and consistent reader and I wanted to thank you again for listening to what I have to say. Hearing from you really motivates me to keep going. Because, let's be honest, when you're happy, the last thing you have tine for is online blogging when no one is listening. We use blogging as a release, but when you're happy you don't usually have anything to release. Having a reader like you waiting to see my next entry and email me to discuss it really makes me want to sit down and write something meaningful, even if it doesn't come from negativity.

-Alex