Let me fill you in on what's been going on.
Remember how I told you I was going through a "social transition"? Well here's something interesting. I've rediscovered a group of kids from the local private school I've known forever and have always been friendly with. There is one problem though... they like to intermingle with the kids who treated me like shit. So mutual social events are... awkward to say the least. But I'll get through it. I always do.
We're nearing the end of the school year and I've never been more stressed. I don't know why. School is such a blur at this point, it's like I've lived the last 9 months of my life on auto pilot and now it's time to disengage it. I'm having a hard time coping. Drinking and smoking just a little bit too much for my taste. I know I can stop, but I just don't see the point at the moment. Things with the "get real" boy do seem to be at an end. He's moving in 2 weeks and although we have been talking on a more regular basis it's really just chatting. I just sent him a message on Facebook basically saying goodbye once and for all. You see, we always say it's over and then we always end up back in each others arms. Here's how it went:
hey XXX.
just wanted to send you a last goodbye. the school year is coming to a close and you'll be off to Chicago soon and who knows where I'll be. Although you and I, whatever it was or wasn't had been tumultuous at time I don't think I would have changed much. I hope you feel the same way, I doubt it though.
I just wanted to say that if you ever need anything don't take me for a flake like the people that you sometimes call friends. You know who I'm talking about. I'll always help you if you need it, just because even before this all started you were always a good friend to me.
it was good while it lasted.
bye XXXXXXX
just wanted to send you a last goodbye. the school year is coming to a close and you'll be off to Chicago soon and who knows where I'll be. Although you and I, whatever it was or wasn't had been tumultuous at time I don't think I would have changed much. I hope you feel the same way, I doubt it though.
I just wanted to say that if you ever need anything don't take me for a flake like the people that you sometimes call friends. You know who I'm talking about. I'll always help you if you need it, just because even before this all started you were always a good friend to me.
it was good while it lasted.
bye XXXXXXX
I made the comment about the "flakey" friends because these are the same group of people who we so awful to me.
I have started talking to a new guy I'll call Dave. Dave and I have hooked up in the past and had briefly discussed dating before he went off to college just a short 2 hour drive away. I actually make that drive all the time and at this point can do it in my sleep. I really like this kid, but the problem is that his parents would not be cool with him being gay. He has some money and has been dating this girl who just uses him for money. But it works for him because when she found out about me and him she was so in love with the money she stayed with him. So over this summer while he is home we'll see what happens. I'll keep you guys posted.
I'm a little typed out. There's more to tell. But I promise I'll post tomorrow.
G'Night!
Oh, and here's a quote from my favorite TV show, Top Gear.
"...the Queen of England. Or Elton John. Which are the same thing really."
-James May
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